Jokes that made me smile a little

Prospective Employer to Applicant: "So why did you leave your previous
job?"
Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"
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Wife: "Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me and brought
all
our five kids with him."
Radio Host: "Ok, go ahead!"
Wife: "Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually only one
of
them is yours."
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Hello! I'm here again. My mind is all muddled up. I just want to ask
something. I know that you will be able to help me out. Is BIRDS FLU
the
past tense of BIRDS FLY?
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You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is
very
loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music. When you
were
going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and
you
suddenly realized . . . .
that you have your MP3 player on your ears !
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WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.
HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: "GO TO
HELL",
that's why I came home early.
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1st night grandma wore a see-thru dress, grandpa didn't react...
2nd night grandma wore t-back, grandpa still didn't react...
3rd night grandma all naked, grandpa said "what is that you are
wearing, it
s all crumpled!!"
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John: it's my wife's birthday
Peter: what's your gift to her?
John: I asked her what she wanted
Peter: what did she said?
J: anything, as long a there is a DIAMOND.
P: what did you gave her?
J: playing cards
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Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!
Student: That's not true! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!
Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!