Calories Burned

Calories Burned During Sex. . .

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric content of different sexual activities.

Now, after "original and proprietary" research, the scientific community is proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent...................................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands....................................... 8 Calories
With one hand.................................... 12 Calories
With your teeth................................. 485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................... 6 Calories
Without an erection........................... 3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary....................................... 12 Calories
69 lying down.................................... 78 Calories
69 standing up.................................. 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow..................................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................... 326 Calories
Italian chandelier............................ 2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real............................................ 112 Calories
Fake.......................................... 1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately...........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...1 ,816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years...................................... 80 Calories
40-49 years..................... ................ 124 Calories
50-59 years................................... 1,972 Calories
60-69 years................................... 7,916 Calories
70 and over............................. Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly...........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door..........5,218
Calories With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories